I've lost so much...

My< heart wont stop hurting,
My mind wont stop racing,
Her eyes are all I can see,
Her lies are all that I hear,
Yet my heart skips a beat,
my life never once neat,
I miss her more then I could ever say,
It's all i can do to get up every day,


Im sitting her drinking a sex on the beach trying to decide where to go and what to do... on one hand we had a night full of fun and sex on the other. My heart hurt so much I'm on edge... My mind keeps racing back to the fact that The dog is still in her life... What am I suppose to do or say? How do I react?

How do I know I'm not just some toy to her.....